Blog 4 - Dieuwerke Luiten - January 2010

Dialogue involves listening

It took a while for my thoughts to settle after returning home from the Moshi Dialogue. After heated debates, awkward silences and attentive listening I returned with more questions about relationship building than I came with.

I applied to participate in this dialogue looking for thought-provoking questions but also hoping to find answers about how we can improve the relationship between Southern and Northern organisations. Maybe this was idle hope. How can we find our way in a labyrinth of structural power differences and inequality during three and a half days of discussions? 

It was more difficult to be open-minded and to explore the nature of our relationship than expected. Participants from North and South agreed that they have many things in common, including a shared goal and commitment to our beneficiaries. Yet the differences were apparent and there was sometimes even a pointing of fingers.

One reason is that despite our commonalities, Northern and Southern development organisations are only links in a larger chain that starts with beneficiaries and ends with donors. Changing donor requirements, policy shifts and cultural differences pull us apart and impact negatively on our mutual trust.

This makes it all the more urgent to use the means that are at our disposal to improve our cooperation. The focus should be on dialogue. Often, we do not clearly communicate our expectations, different roles or the external factors that limit our work such as back-donors. Moreover, we are not attentive enough to the needs of the other partners involved and don’t create the space to really listen.

One of the main lessons that I take home with me is that we should create more reflective space in a relationship and talk about our expectations and roles. More importantly we should reserve time and room to evaluate our relationship and to make changes if necessary.

I am glad that towards the end of the Moshi Dialogue both Northern and Southern organisations not only talked but also listened to one another. This is what dialogue is really about.

Dieuwerke Luiten, participant on behalf the Dutch Council for Refugees
(VluchtelingenWerk Nederland) in a personal capacity.