Blog 3 - Dieuwerke Luiten - October 2009

Getting to know yourself is key

A few months ago the Northern participants to the Dialogue on International Relationships met to prepare for the actual dialogue with Southern colleagues in Tanzania. In my earlier blog I already described my expectations. Today I saw a DVD of interviews with the Southern participants sharing their insights into North-South relationships and describing their expectations of the dialogue.

“A good dialogue starts with getting to know yourself”, this insight remains after watching the video interviews with the Southern participants to the Moshi dialogue. ‘Get to know yourself. Know your limitations. Trust your strengths. Show leadership’. This is what it is mainly about according to most of the African participants. Funds, knowledge and interests all play a minor role in establishing and maintaining partnerships.

Is this maybe the reason that cooperation is not always ideal? That we start from the basis of having a common goal instead of getting to know ourselves first? Do partners actually know what they want to achieve? And who we need to partner with to reach that goal? Whose needs do we actually want to fulfil? And are these the same for Southern and Northern participants? Only when you know yourself can you recognise what you bring to a relationship and what you take from it. Realising this makes me even more curious to meet my Southern colleagues.

Knowing yourself makes you a better partner. Eventually we all come back to our commonalities. We have a common goal and interest. Moreover, we aim to support the same beneficiaries. One of the participants phrased it as follows: “we cannot do without each other. We need each other in this globalised world”.

Dieuwerke Luiten, participant on behalf the Dutch Council for Refugees(VluchtelingenWerk Nederland) in a personal capacity